Career, Pressure and the Economy

I work as a paralegal.  After years of struggling  as a single mother and working over-worked and under-paid positions I had finally found my "dream job."  Unfortunately in October of last year I had to leave.  I loved my position, the firm, the attorney I worked with, and all the stress and status that came with it.  I had taken this position because it was a great opportunity and also a big city change for me.  It came at a time when my Ex and I were no longer together.  I was turning over a new leaf and starting my new life. 

Several months into my new position, my Ex came back into my life and we ended up back together.  Several months after that we decided to move in with each other.  I was making the commute leaving at 6 AM and returning home at 8 PM.  My quality of life was being compromised.  The four hour daily commute was killing me.  After much thought and conversations I decided to take another position closer to home. 

Now we come to the problem at hand.  My new employer, a sole practioner, has had to cut my hours and I am now working part time.  We aren't getting new clients, and my employer doesn't have the funds to pay for a full-time paralegal.  I have NEVER worked part time in my life!  My partner has had to support me as of late.  Again, I have NEVER had anyone support me financially. EVER.

This is not only affecting me financially, but emotionally.  I am feeling quite "inadequate" and struggling daily to be at peace with this outcome. I know this isn't forever but upsetting nonetheless. 

I am grateful for what I have.  But I can't shake these feelings that I have....any suggestions?

Your relationships.....

A few of my friends have come to me with their relationship issues and I have become a "shoulder to cry on" as of late and I'm not sure that I like my new found position.  It can be very frustrating and depressing.

I'm not quite sure if some women ever make sound decisions when getting involved with someone.  Now, I'm not saying that my relationship is perfect, because it's not.  We work on our relationship everyday.  We need to have basic boundaries for ourselves, and to be selfish about what we are looking for in a relationship.  Because really, who will look out for our best interests but ourselves?? Relationships are a work in progress if you want to achieve a healthy, loving union.

One of my friends called me to tell me that she was getting "cold feet" as the time grew closer to her to moving in with her boyfriend.  She is very outgoing, loves to travel and has a very eclectic taste for adventure.  He, on the other hand, is a homebody and his idea of going out, is dinner at a home style type restaurant.

She is bored and is already feeling trapped.  She would like to enjoy her weekends maybe seeing a movie, going to a museum, exploring funky and eclectic Los Angeles.  But he doesn't enjoy her interests, and when she has sat him down to talk about their social life he doesn't want to compromise.  She feels like an "old woman" now that her social life has become going to dinner every weekend. 

Ah, but he is a "nice guy"...........

Time and time again I hear my friends compromise themselves which seems to bring heartache for them.

Passing Judgment

I was at LAX the other day picking up my weary work-related traveler. 

As we were walking hand in hand through baggage claim I noticed a young girl of about 12 snickering and pointing at us.  The older male that she was with ignored her actions and turned his head when we walked by.  Is this what happened to him many years past?  Did people turn their heads when he walked by??

Clearly this older man lived through the 60's and had encountered stares, unacceptance and who knows what else in his lifetime because of his race.

What a shame that this young girl along with many others, young, old, of various social and economic status live in ignorance.  Educate yourselves.  Love others.  We are all that we have.

CG